You Might Be A Southern Baptist if...

I copied this from Steve Camp's Blog. It is meant to be funny and I find it funny. BUT, some of this hits a little close to home:-)

• IF YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE A COVERED DISH TO HEAVEN.
• IF YOU HAVE EVER SUPPORTED A LUIS PALAU CRUSADE IN CHINA FEATURING ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIESTS PRAYING TO MARY.
• IF YOU THINK SOMEONE WHO RAISES THEIR HANDS WHILE SINGING A PRAISE CHORUS FROM HILLSONG MUSIC IS A CHARISMATIC.
• IF YOU REALLY THINK THAT CHRISTIAN VIRTUE IS ACHIEVED BY VALUE VOTING.
• IF YOU COMPLAIN BECAUSE YOUR PASTOR ONLY WORKS ONE DAY A WEEK AND THEN HE WORKS TOO LONG.
• IF YOU THINK THAT BEING CALVINISTIC REALLY SQUASHES EVANGELISM.
• IF YOU WOKE UP CRAVING FRIED CHICKEN ONE MORNING AND INTERPRETED IT AS A CALL TO PREACH.
• IF YOU THINK A POMPIDOU IS THE REQUIRED HAIR STYLE TO GET INTO A LARGE SEMINARY IN LOUISVILLE, KY.
• IF YOU THINK THAT ERGIN CANER DOESN'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT THERAPY AND BACKED OUT ON THE DEBATE WITH JAMES WHITE BECAUSE THE LIBERTY UNIV. DEBATE COACH REALLY COULDN'T APPROVE THE ALREADY AGREED UPON FORMAT.
• IF YOU THINK THAT AMERICA IS THE NEW ISRAEL AND THAT THE HOLY LAND IS NASHVILLE, TN.
• IF YOU ACTUALLY ADMIT TO OWNING AND READING A TIM LAHAYE NOVEL.
• IF YOU THINK ALL THE NAMES ON THE MEMBERSHIP ROLLS REALLY REPRESENT TRUE BELIEVERS.
• IF YOU THINK JOHN THE BAPTIST FOUNDED THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION.
• IF YOU THINK "VICTORY IN JESUS" IS THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
• IF THE FIRST SENTENCE YOU EVER UTTERED WAS "I SEE THAT HAND;" OR "EVERY HEAD BOWED, EVERY EYE CLOSED."
• IF YOUR DEFINITION OF "FELLOWSHIP" HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH PASTRY.
• IF YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THE APOSTLE PAUL SPOKE KING JAMES ENGLISH.
• IF YOU REALLY THINK JESUS ACTUALLY TURNED WATER INTO WELCH'S GRAPE JUICE.